Are you too attached with the outcome?
There is a very short plunge from attachment to an outcome to becoming desperate for an outcome...
I have coached quite a few successful people around their Self Confidence, who are on top of their game and I see most of them make 1 mistake: Getting too attached with the results
Now, it may feel natural to want to care about what the results of your hard work are but there is a difference. There is a difference between caring and being attached to the outcome.
Here is what caring looks like
Checking the level of impact your processes are making
Course correcting if a mistake is caught on
Enjoying the process and being focused on improving it
Loving solving the challenges rather than going through it
Here is what being attached looks like:
Constantly worried about what the results are
Rechecking again and again to see how far you have come
Feeling stressed, irritable overwhelmed very frequently
Consistently feeling “When will this get over so I can just get the (Insert: end result)
Attachment to the outcome is what causes the pain and struggle we so desperately don’t want to experience yet we can’t help but be attached.
So the question is:
Why do you feel so attached to the outcome?
The answer lies in 2 questions:
What do you think will happen if you didn’t get the outcome you so badly want?
What is the feeling you absolutely don’t want to feel which you will have to feel if the outcome didn’t happen?
Answering these 2 questions should give you an insight into how secure do you feel in yourself.
Usually people are never really attached to the outcome but the “feeling” that the outcome will bring them. Usually these feelings are that of safety and security.
And when you make an outcome about your personal safety- the attachment and the desperation is bound to happen. Because safety is about survival and as humans- we will do anything to ensure our survival.
So here the outcome is less about the results and more about survival.
So now the question is:
How do you become detached from the outcome?
Simple and straightforward answer: Create safety inside your body.
The only reason you get attached to the outcome is because you have tied your outcome to something greater.
For some of you it is Freedom, Safety, Security, Validation, Appreciation and often your Self Worth.
So its not about the outcome- it is about the feeling you want to feel. However these correlations that you have in your head where you have tied the outcome with a feeling isn’t really real (factual).
It is as absurd as saying “When I wear red shirt- it rains”. It may or may not. Maybe it rained a couple times in the past and now I made it a hard rule in my head that when I want it to rain- I need to wear a red shirt.
To remove these absurd correlations- You have to work with a coach to address them and remove them from your brain and nervous system.
You have to start exploring your fears.
Because the truth is: An outcome is just an objective result. It doesn’t have the power to make you feel anything. When you give such a huge responsibility of making you feel something to an activity/project- you have given away all you power and it is a recipe for attachment and desperation.
A personal Practice I follow to become detached with outcome
I work with ambitious professionals for a living. And I know I am a pretty great coach (with all due humbleness). But even then- I don’t guarantee results.
Because the truth is- My job is to show up 100% and what my clients do with it is their responsibility.
I practice the art of “Letting go”. Its not easy ofcourse if you haven’t worked on your brain and nervous system. That’s why having a coach becomes so essential.
I deeply believe in the Commitment and Intelligence of my clients. I believe in their potential. I believe in the work that they put in.
I am able to do this because I am not attached to my clients’ results. And because I feel very very safe in my body. I trust myself and my skills. I am also deeply aware of all my fears and insecurities and I do not project it onto my clients or the results they create.
All the highs in my career has been because of the Detachment I have practiced and that’s why I AM A BIG ADVOCATE of this concept.
I regularly live by “I trust the people I work with and I believe in the highest version of them”. This belief has made my wildest desires a reality,
That is why in my upcoming 12 week signature group coaching program IGNITE (starting from November)- I am teaching all the participants the art and science of detachment
They will achieve this through 2 things
In the weekly coaching sessions I will help them explore all their fears that are keeping them attached to the outcome and expand their brain and nervous system
In the weekly meditation sessions I will guide them into a deeper connection with themselves to find inner safety and connection and experience detachment from the outcome
In short: Its going to be pure magic
If you are someone who wants to experience the magic of transforming your life without being attached to the result- come join me inside IGNITE and experience the magic of getting your brain and nervous system coached every single week for 3 months.
P.S- We only have 3 seats left at present. To enroll in: Book a call with me here
Love,
Riyanshi